totally fucked day…

and just so you know… i miss you…

great shoot coming up today… rope and pulleys and ladies… and possibly a bucket…

i love how everyone is ripping off my work… you can tell they got it from me, but their execution is pathetic… greatness…

an uncontrollable night…

something is wrong…

im not myself

think i have finally finished the above image after weeks and weeks of trying to make it perfect… not that there was anything lacking from the model

practiced with a band this morning… had plenty to fuel these lyrics…

the man as a word
i insist, so i am a liar
not a lover
not a man
not able to comprehend the feeling of being hurt
beyond belief…

don’t you think i can fucking tell

im not a fucking person anymore
i am a word
now that this
is medicated
im only trying to stall
the panic

with my eyes so
sharp
to shut down the panic
and system
of phone lines
and abandon this room
with your hands tied to will
that you gave

stand and abandon
burn in this room

ignore
the paint pealing
away the frailty

and i will see you choke
i am the pigment in your throat
and i will see you beneath the flame

ask
me
whys the world ablaze
you know the words to sing

lie

my eyes are blood
shot
this kerosene
does well for drinking
there is one way out

and all the worlds ablaze
and i was
only a word
spark quick this air
this flame

i was simply ash
to you
the flame

im finding it ridiculous… staying in this town… house hunting in VA is promising… if anyone needs a place to live in wilmington… email me…

missing friends…

i guess im destined to be alone… all these signs…

“you hate her because you love her… and thats the worst kinda hatred to hold on to…”