February 29, 2008

totally fucked day…

February 28, 2008

shane deruise

photography by shane deruise, raleigh, nc

great shoot coming up today… rope and pulleys and ladies… and possibly a bucket…

i love how everyone is ripping off my work… you can tell they got it from me, but their execution is pathetic… greatness…

February 27, 2008

an uncontrollable night…

something is wrong…

im not myself

February 26, 2008

think i have finally finished the above image after weeks and weeks of trying to make it perfect… not that there was anything lacking from the model 😉

practiced with a band this morning… had plenty to fuel these lyrics…

the man as a word
i insist, so i am a liar
not a lover
not a man
not able to comprehend the feeling of being hurt
beyond belief…

don’t you think i can fucking tell

im not a fucking person anymore
i am a word
now that this
is medicated
im only trying to stall
the panic

with my eyes so
to shut down the panic
and system
of phone lines
and abandon this room
with your hands tied to will
that you gave

stand and abandon
burn in this room

the paint pealing
away the frailty

and i will see you choke
i am the pigment in your throat
and i will see you beneath the flame

whys the world ablaze
you know the words to sing


my eyes are blood
this kerosene
does well for drinking
there is one way out

and all the worlds ablaze
and i was
only a word
spark quick this air
this flame

i was simply ash
to you
the flame

to friends…

February 24, 2008

missing friends…

sleep her wet river

February 23, 2008

shane deruise

shane deruise

i guess im destined to be alone… all these signs…

“you hate her because you love her… and thats the worst kinda hatred to hold on to…”

February 22, 2008

shane deruise

shane deruise

photography by shane deruise, raleigh, nc

very tired… over worked… i desperately need something to keep me going…

pills for the pain… and nothing for the feeling of lost…